


What a Feeling to Be Right Here Beside You Now

by tkachukwarrior



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Realizations, Tkachuk Family Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28000215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkachukwarrior/pseuds/tkachukwarrior
Summary: Matthew thought he had mentally prepared himself for what would happen, but this he definitely did not see coming.
Relationships: Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk
Comments: 150
Kudos: 71





	What a Feeling to Be Right Here Beside You Now

It was just a regular day in the bubble for Matthew when out of nowhere he received a text from his sworn enemy Leon Draisaitl. Matthew thought he had mentally prepared himself for what would happen when he opened the text, sure it would be some insult or a warning to stay away from him in the Hotel. Instead, it was a link to a fanfiction site called Archive of Our Own where there were apparently tons of people writing about him and Leon dating. He definitely didn't see that coming! 

_What the hell,_ he texted Leon.

 _Just read some of them,_ Leon responded. 

He had no idea why, but Matthew thought _I have nothing better to do_ and decided to open one up. One turned into two, turned into a dozen, and all of a sudden Matthew realized it was 2am and he needed to sleep. 

When he woke up the next morning, he couldn't stop thinking about what he had read and he felt the need to read more. He spent the next few days frantically consuming more and more fanfiction, and growing more and more confused in the process. He had known he was gay for a while now, but he didn't realize how much the tension between him and Leon could be seen as attraction. Of course he knew Leon was hot, but he was starting to see him in a new light.

He was also shocked by how many stories seemed to indicate that his father hated him. As the week went on, his frustration bubbled up to the point where he could no longer take it. He made an account on AO3, opened up a new post and started typing something to post in the tag. He wrote:

I lied and this is not actually fanfiction, but a discussion I think we need to start having about the state of the Matthew/Leon tag. I’ve been sitting on this for a while but I hit a breaking point today so it's time we talk about it. As I’m sure you’ve also noticed, there is a super pervasive narrative that Keith Tkachuk is a terrible father or a raging homophobe and you can’t write anything without bringing it up and frankly, I’m tired of it. Write what you want to write and whatnot, but people seem to think that carries over into real life and that’s simply not true, so it's time for me to take a stand. Here is definitive proof that Matthew and his father have a good and loving relationship so you can all find something else to write about, please! PLEASE!!!

I think one of the main reasons people think Keith hates Matthew is because of the headline from the Athletic article “He Has That Face You Just Want to Punch.” My reaction to reading that is to think lol so true Keith, but I get that the general notion is that hockey dads are bad so other people might not be reading it in good faith and instead take it to mean that Matthew’s father hates him. Especially seeing as… Matthew looks quite a bit like his father, so Keith would basically be saying his own face is punchable too (and let’s be honest Keith, Matthew, and Brady ALL have punchable faces).

[It is a paywalled article, so of course many people have never read further, but if you actually read the article the full quote Keith gave is:](http://theathletic.com/229963/2018/02/02/he-has-that-face-you-just-want-to-punch-matthew-tkachuk-isnt-about-to-change-the-way-he-plays/)  
_“He has that face you just want to punch, according to other players,” said his father Keith, chuckling. “That to me is an effective player – a kid who’s engaged. Does it go a little bit overboard sometimes? Yeah. But guys are going after him because he’s engaged every game. I’m sure if I played against him, I’d go after him, too.”_

He is very clearly paying Matthew a compliment, saying that he gets under other players' skin which is one of his strengths. Of course, Keith does say he might have gone after Matthew if he had played against him, but that is a sign of his respect for Matthew as a player and how proud he is, not him publicly stating how much he wants his son to get beat up. The article is full of quotes from other players in and out of the league talking about how much of a good thing it is that Matthew is the type of player who aggravates you when you play against them. Keith saying he has a punchable face is unequivocally a compliment.

Later in the article, it says:  
_No flopper – and thereby earning the benefit of the doubt from referees – Tkachuk has managed to draw 80 penalties in 125 career starts, the most of anyone over the past two seasons._

_“As a hockey player, not just a dad, that’s a big thing,” said Keith, who, in 1,201 games, recorded 1,065 points and 2,219 penalty minutes. “It all comes down to his brain. I mean, he’s smart. He knows how to solve things. He knows how to put his body in a position where somebody might take a penalty.”_

_“This kid, I find a lot of flaws in his game because I’m his dad, and that’s what dads do. But, at the end of the day, he wants to win.”_

Keith thinks that Matthew is a smart player! Of course, he also admits to being critical of Matthew’s game but to his credit, this article came out in early 2018 just after Matthew had taken two suspensions within the same month. Obviously, there are parts of Matthew’s game to critique, but Keith is still vocally supportive of Matthew nonetheless. 

_“If I’m going out there and trying not to hit anybody or touch anybody and I play really soft, I’m definitely not at my best,” said Tkachuk, 6-foot-2, 202 pounds. “I feel like when I’m playing hard, playing with the puck, being strong on the puck, not giving it up, winning battles, that’s when I’m at my best.”_

_Keith, while not thrilled by the banishments, notes that his son has earned the right to figure out things on his own._

_“I love the fact that he plays with an edge,” said Dad. “I told him that I’d rather see him sit out a game for being too aggressive than sit out a game because he’s soft.”_

Keith believes that Matthew is a smart player who still has a lot to learn as a younger player in the league, but he loves the way Matthew plays and is actually very defensive of Matthew’s play style. [We can see this again in the Spittin Chiclets interview that Matthew, Keith, and Brady did all together at the All-Star Game.](https://youtu.be/WD3JKyD8ne0) Of course, I don’t blame anyone for not having seen it/wanting to watch or listen, so I’ve done the heavy lifting for you guys.

At the 9:30 mark, Matthew gets asked about the 19-20 season’s Battle of Alberta and the comments he made/that have been made about him since. At the 10:29 mark, Matthew says that he wants people to know that he is unaffected by their comments about him but BOTH of his parents do get bothered. Throughout the entire time Matthew is getting asked about his controversies, Keith seems frustrated and he jumps in at 10:40 to tell Matthew “you don't have to explain yourself to anybody.” 

Matthew goes on to explain himself but then at 12:19 Keith jumps in again to defend Matthew’s style of play and explain how much he does to help his teammates. At 20:43 they tell a story about Keith at an Ottawa game for Brady’s dad’s trip but being on his phone watching Matthew’s game instead. 

Then at 23:00, both boys are asked if they call their dad after games. Brady makes a joke about how it depends on how he played and they all laugh but then Matthew says in earnest that after 90% of games he will talk to Keith the next day.

At 30:00, Matthew talks about hitting bonuses and Keith asks if he hit all 4 bonuses and then congratulates him when Matthew confirms that he did (before going into a running joke about the boys spending money on the Tkachuk family gift card). 

Those are just a few notable moments but if you can manage to sit through it I think you’ll find that for the most part, Keith treats Matthew and Brady pretty similarly. He certainly teases them both quite a bit, but to me, it is clear that it comes from a place of love. That’s kind of just the way Keith talks to people, but I don't think he ever made either of them any more uncomfortable than they’d naturally feel while being recorded in an interview with hosts who are known wildcards, talking about their careers (in a controversial time for Matthew). 

Keith definitely treats them like teammates but that’s also just kind of how Keith talks to everyone. He's a hockey player from Boston! He's a masshole! He's blunt and he gives shit to everyone because that's how he relates to people, but Matthew and Brady are both very comfortable giving it right back to Keith as well! The Tkachuk family love language is bullying each other! [ I hate to link twice to paywalled articles but this is truly a must-read for providing context.](http://theathletic.com/351173/2018/05/13/in-the-tkachuk-family-its-chantal-who-is-the-captain-of-the-house/)

_There’s a framed picture of the family on the wall at the restaurant, and Keith said they were going to recreate the shot._

_“Taryn was just a little baby,” Keith said._

_“I was in a high-chair,” Taryn replied._

_“So it was like three years ago,” Keith fired back, drawing a roar from the family._

_-_

_In 1990, Keith was drafted No. 19 overall by the Winnipeg Jets and met a Winnipeg native “through mutual friends,” Chantal said._

_“Dad, explain the real story,” Matthew chimes in._

_“I found her number on the bathroom wall!” Keith obliges._

_“He said that one time to the kids and they’ll never forget it,” Chantal jumps in, hoping to clarify any confusion._

_The couple’s first date was at Olive Garden._

_“Big spender!” Keith said. “But at the time, that was huge.”_

_Chantal thought he was charming, but by the end of dinner, she felt like a teammate rather than a date._

_-_

_“Once she found out it was two points for a goal, she stopped passing,” Keith said, laughing. “But no, Taryn is the best athlete in the family.”_

_-_

_Chantal went to the University of Manitoba, where she earned a business degree._

_“It’s the Harvard of mid-Canada,” Keith said. “Technically, she is the only person in our immediate family to get a degree. It’s a fake degree because it’s a Canadian university. It really works; she was working at Safeway when I met her. She brought $9,000 to the joint bank account.”_

_“Canadian,” Matthew chirped._

_“It was like $105,” Keith piled on._

_Matthew said his mom is so proud of her business background that, “it was the big joke when we were visiting colleges. We’d ask nothing about the school — the academics — just the hockey. And she would always ask, ‘How is the Business School?’ That was her only question every single college.”_

_“Now any time somebody drives by a business school,” Chantal said, “they take a picture and send it to me.”_

_-_

_Although she has some skills, Chantal doesn’t feel like she’s been second-fiddle for a moment._

_“I feel blessed that we have the lifestyle we have because of how hard Keith worked, doing what he did,” she said. “I think I was raised with the focus always being on family. My parents sacrificed for me and my brother, and it’s just how I’ve been brought up — your kids come first. I don’t really consider what we do has inhibited me from doing anything or me sacrificing at all because I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.”_

_“Big word there,” Keith said. “I don’t even know what that means.”_

_That one-liner leads to more laughter, which is what Chantal wants — to hear the sounds of her whole family._

I basically copy-pasted the whole article but I just feel like it just shows how much the whole family loves each other, and teasing is just such an integral part of the way they express that love. Also, Matthew is very much not Keith’s only target, and he is in fact a target himself!

[This video of the kids playing bubble hockey is linked in the article and you can just see how fond Keith is of all his children, even while giving them shit.](https://youtu.be/PeSBsZSarcs)

[ This video of Matthew and Keith being interviewed together at Brady’s draft is great.](https://youtu.be/AhDVNElkRig) Starting at 1:40 Keith says that Matthew never went easy on Brady growing up which helped him to be better and that Brady looks up to Matthew and his success. Matthew then goes on to chirp Brady and you can watch Keith be so fondly exasperated by him like… Matthew is so annoying! He is truly just the worst sometimes!!! We all know this and love him for it and Keith is no different, but he also gives Matthew credit where it's due. The Tkachuks regularly talk about how when they were younger, Matthew kind of beat the shit out of Brady (often while discussing the fact that if they fought now, Brady would totally win). [ One of my favorite Tkachuk facts is that Keith and Chantal kept spare drywall at their house because Matthew and Brady threw each other through the walls enough that they needed it.](https://nationalpost.com/sports/hockey/u-s-junior-forward-brady-tkachuk-is-exactly-like-his-brother-matthew-just-bigger-faster-and-nastier)

I think that is part of the reason we have heard Keith publicly deprecate Matthew more than Brady, along with the fact that Matthew’s career has created more opportunities for Keith to be asked to publicly comment on questionable behavior from him. Brady just hasn’t created the same levels of controversy, and also Matthew is older and Keith watched him regularly beat the shit out of his younger brother for years! 

I don’t think he resents Matthew for it or anything, I just think it informs their relationship. There are multiple moments I can think of in interviews where Matthew will compliment Brady and Keith will say, “You’re never this nice to your brother!” Matthew is a little shit, and he always has been, and obviously Keith raised him to be that way, but it agitates him sometimes. He still very much loves him and is super proud of him, but he’s also allowed to recognize Matthew is a loveable rat just like the rest of us do.

They always say Brady is just a happy-go-lucky kid, but Matthew was more intense, and he’s also the first-born. That’s naturally going to lead to his parents being a little harder on him, and I think Keith expects more out of Matthew partially because of that and partially because he recognizes a lot of himself in Matthew, some of which are parts that he is not the proudest of. I think Keith sees himself in Matthew and wants Matthew to be better than he was. That definitely lends itself to the perception that Keith is always super hard on Matthew, which is definitely somewhat fair, but to extend that say he never has anything good to say about Matthew is just patently untrue, and I think it’s unfair to both Keith and Matthew. At the end of the day, Keith is an Aries and Matthew is a Sagittarius so… what do you want from them.

The idea that Matthew hates his father is also just so wildly untrue. Keith is one of Matthew’s heroes. Matthew wore his number--7--in the NTDP and in juniors and probably would have in Calgary too if it weren't already taken (Matthew debated between taking 77 or 19 but he asked the family group chat and they decided to go with 19). 

When they were kids, Matthew and Brady were definitely more interested in younger guys in the league than they were in their father, which they’ve mentioned many times, but if they have the chance now they will always say how much he taught them growing up and how influential they are to his career. [ This video called “My Hockey Idol Ep. 4: The Tkachuks” is really a must-watch.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq12upufdRc) It’s basically 10 minutes of Matthew, Brady, and Keith talking about their careers, chirping, and laughing, very sweet stuff. It really shows how comfortable both of the boys are around their father and it’s a great look at some of the standard Tkachuk inside-jokes/references. 

Right at the start of that video, Matthew says that growing up Keith always told them the most important things they needed to do were compete and be a good teammate. This is something that Keith, Matthew, and Brady all mention often. Keith often compliments Matthew and Brady on being hard workers, well-liked, and caring about the people they work with. It’s also clearly a point of pride for both of the boys. Whenever Matthew and Brady evaluate their own game they talk about working hard and doing the best they can to help their teammates, which is something they got from their father. They take after Keith so much as players, it’s very evident.

The other thing is, I feel like everything about Matthew just screams “guy who loved his childhood.” His entire wardrobe is St. Louis branded and anytime he talks about being a kid he has nothing but fond memories of hanging around the rink and fighting with Brady. He grew up with a silver spoon and a lot of unique opportunities afforded to him by his dad. Matthew is an absolute hockey nerd and has been since he was a baby, and he got to meet and know lots of really sick players because of Keith. He does joke that he didn’t care about his dad growing up because he was a scrub in comparison to the younger players who Matthew actually liked, but especially now that he’s grown up some more, he definitely has appreciation for his father as a player and for what he provided to him.

In general, Matthew just overflows with love for his family. He will take any chance he can get to talk about how amazing of an athlete Taryn is, he loves to talk about how his mother holds the family together, he also makes fun of all of them as much as he can but as we already established, bullying means “I love you” in Tkachuk. His father is not excluded from that love!!

I highly recommend watching all of the Stuck With the Tkachuks videos on youtube. Obviously, they’re a little cheesy, but I think they are so fun and such a good showcase of the way the Tkachuks are together. Watching Brady and Matthew fight and hearing their dad, mom, and sister all take turns laughing at them is such a joy, and I also think you can see there’s pretty equal opportunity chirping. Matthew may actually get it a bit more than the other kids but to me, it never falls outside the bounds of good-spirited favoritism.

[ There is so much more that I could link to, but instead, I will just drop this great primer on the Tkachuks that one of my friends made which is full of even more videos, articles, and information about the family.](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rJkMEVlzMI75xP3GO3FQ5oD4epMm3lnjl9r2OsLRgec/edit?usp=sharing) As I said at the beginning, write what you want to write but at this point, it all just reads as very lazy and poorly researched! Aside from the one-dimensional personas that this tag has seemed to cultivate for them, Matthew and his father have real, fun personalities that are right there for you to see if you watch basically any videos of them. 

There’s certainly room to explore tension within their father/son relationship, and I even appreciate it when it is done well, but it seems like a lot of people actually believe that Keith is an emotionally abusive asshole and/or violent homophobe because they read fanfiction where he was, and at this point it’s getting weird. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s not actually that fun when I can’t find any fic of my favorite player where he’s not being called homophobic slurs! I feel like it’s a disservice not only to Keith and Matthew but also to the fandom at large to create the perception of an abusive relationship where it's not actually warranted. 

I’m definitely not trying to say that Keith Tkachuk is a perfect person because I don’t know him and I don’t really expect any hockey players to be moral beacons. I also recognize that hockey dads are often shitty people and terrible fathers, so I get it but I just don’t think that actually applies here. If you’re comfortable assuming that Matthew and Leon are generally good dudes based on their public personas, I don’t see any reason not to extend that assumption to Keith as well, all things considered. 

Also, just another pet peeve of mine, but people who know Matthew almost never call him Matty. Sometimes Matt, but you never really hear anyone call him Matty outside of fic and fandom. Especially in the hockey world, people are 100% more likely to call him Chucky/Chucker than Matty. Food for thought.

I will be checking the comments so if you want to discuss this further I’d love to keep talking about this. I rant to my friends about this like four times a week so you’d be doing them a favor!

After Matthew finished writing, he hit post and then went to go get a gatorade from a vending machine at the end of the hallway. As he was turning around to walk back to his room, he ran directly into none other than Leon Draisaitl!

"Hey man," Matthew said to him. Leon nodded back in greeting. "Can't believe so many people are writing about us. Crazy isn't it?"

"Yeah, I was pretty surprised. Some of it was pretty good though." Leon replied.

"Honestly? I kind of get where some of them are coming from." Leon looked shocked at what Matthew said, so he hurried to walk it back. "Like, if you think about it, hate and love are both equally strong emotions. That's what I meant." 

"Matthew I never hated you," Leon said, and took a step closer.

"I definitely don't hate you either," Matthew replied. "In fact, I think I might be in love with you."

"I love you too," Leon said, and he finally pulled Matthew in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> See, I do take constructive criticism!
> 
> ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE THREAD SOMEONE POSTED ON TWITTER TODAY PLEASE LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!! ANY AND ALL HATE CAN BE DIRECTED TOWARDS ME IN THE COMMENTS PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!!


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